Push Myself

I am in the middle of doing something hard. Which is a big deal for me. Usually, I won't try anything if it's hard, or inconvenient, or if I don't know for positive that I can have a reasonable shot at success.

A few months back, I spotted a poster inviting people to join a Jane Austin book group at our local library.

I have always thought of myself as one of the "smart kids". In junior high and high school, I was friends with other "smart kids" and many of my classes were the "smart kid" classes.

But I never pushed myself.

So when I saw the poster, I thought many things, including "Oh! I've always wanted to read Jane Austin's books!" and "This would be a great way to meet new friends" and "This shouldn't be too hard...I can do this."

Whew! Either I'm not as "smart" as I thought I was, or this is hard. I mean, I am certainly enjoying it. But oh my good-golly-goodness. Fiction from 1820 England is not a breezy read. We are reading all six of Jane Austin's novels, in order of publishing.

I'm behind by a book and a half. But I refuse to give up! I am going to do this. I can do hard things. I can push myself, and learn and stretch and grow. I can contribute interesting things to the book group discussions! I can find out for myself why there is such a thing as The Jane Austen Society of North America.

I am grateful for an opportunity to push myself. It's uncomfortable (which is why I generally avoid it), but I find I actually like it. I am grateful for my (new) friend, Becky, who started the group, and who is so real and down-to-earth and intimidating and encouraging. I am grateful for the fact that I'm never too old to learn, even if it seems like all the "smart kid" stuff came out in the wash about fifteen years ago.

What are you blessed with today?