Saturday, March 12

Crabby Pants

I am sitting here feeling belligerent. I have been really crabby today. If you have shellfish allergies, walk away now. Chalk it up to sleep deprivation. Or baby blues. Or the impending Ides of March. Whatever the cause, I don't feel like feeling thankful. If that makes any sense. Or, if I must express gratitude, doing it sarcastically, so that each statement of thanks rings out like a slap. But I am trying to be the grown up, here. And every snippy comment that I was composing before I sat down makes me ashamed of myself as soon as I type it.

So, first off, I'm grateful for the "backspace" button. Also, I am grateful for the opportunity to sort through my feelings and sift for what's worth keeping and toss what's not. I am glad I can vent and emote and rage just a little, and then collect myself and carry on with poise.

I'm grateful for my children, who know when I'm about to flip, and who start toning it down before I do (my daughter even put on my favorite calming music to help things along...)

I am grateful for enough mileage behind me that I no longer drag my tantrums out on purpose, and that I can recognize them as tantrums...instead of viewing them as normal, sustainable, defensible behavior. I don't enjoy being a crabby pants. But like rush-hour traffic, I just have to get through it and move on.

I would like to publicly acknowledge to God that I know many of my blessings from today, and I really am grateful for them: gorgeous weather, much needed yard work accomplished, safety in travel, a happy baby, responsible children I can depend on and trust, a husband who is easily moved by the Spirit...also, God, if you read my blog, I am sorry for being belligerent. Again.

And finally, I'm with Scarlett. After all, tomorrow is another day.

I have to type it, because it's my signature for every post on this blog, but I am typing through clenched teeth
What are you blessed with today?


  1. I'm grateful for eternal families. I'm also really grateful for these off days because they are what help us appreciate the great ones.

  2. Did you really type this on the 12th? I thought the 12th was a good day. I guess I was driving all day, four hours to Omaha and back, two hours to Platte City and back...


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