Thursday, June 16

Hard-Won Perspective

I was on the phone this morning with a younger sister. Mommy-wise, she is now where I was about ten years ago. And I remembered that it was a tough place. I told her that, too, because I think validation is useful in coping.

And then I sort of went on this little rant where I lamented the fact that no one had warned me about the tough spots of young motherhood, that I was unprepared and hadn't handled it all too well. Where were the voices of experience? I wanted to know. She ought to be glad she has me, because I was doing for her what no one had bothered to do for me!

This sister of mine, she is wise beyond her years. She listened to me express my pent-up resentment about the struggles of years past. And then she said this:

If someone had told you, had just gone up to you and dumped it all out, you wouldn't have learned it, it wouldn't mean as much, and you wouldn't appreciate it as much as you do now. 

It's true, of course. Wisdom doesn't always look like wisdom. Most of the time, we have to earn the right to recognize it. It's actually possible someone did try to prepare me. It is very probable I wasn't listening, or felt I already knew everything I needed to know. I really am that sort of person.

I am grateful for hard-won perspective. That old saw about how you never know what you've got until it's gone? Well, I think you never know what you don't know until after you know it. Or maybe it's that thing about hindsight being 20/20. Yup. True for me. I am grateful for the opportunity to look back, and see real proof of change and growth in myself. I am grateful for my sisters/friends, who help my keep perspective. Not only do they help me keep it, but they polish it up for me so I can see it better.

What are you blessed with today?


  1. I always feel like I am ten years behind other mothers! I just never catch up. Any advice?

  2. Dear Tapper, God made you the mother of your children on purpose. It doesn't matter if you are behind or ahead of other mothers, you aren't mothering their children. You are in the right spot for you. Enjoy where you are, laugh a lot, take a break when you can, write it all down, and be kind to yourself.
    Love, Amber


Please share: